Was realizing I belong there!
We live about 1/4 a mile from on of Austin's best yoga studios and better yet they are know for pre/postnatal and kids classes! So, all it took was 1 free class offering by a long time athlete at RBG and I was there!
As I sat in the empty room (I am always early.....) watching the other pregnant ladies arrive, I kept thinking how great they looked - how fit and agile even the 37 week pregnant woman looked. I was inspired by the process of creating a kiddo and fascinated at how HUGE a tummy could be and how "normal" the rest of the body could remain. THEN I realized I was not just watching these pregnant women - I was one of "them" SHIT!!!!!!
I know we're all supposed to talk about how exciting this is and how great it's gonna be - and it IS - but it's also strange - I do not associate myself, my identity as pregnant, as a mom, etc. I successfully choked back tears for the next 20 minutes or so of class all the while to trying to remember my intention that the instructor had asked us to create before class began....Peace and Relaxation!
The class was great - the instructor was nothing but awesome - but I that didn't mean the entire 75 minutes wasn't surreal. When the instructor said "one hand on your little one" or "mommy arms" etc - I almost didn't know what to do - do I have "mommy arms"? It sounds silly to think but pregnant is not ME but it is so ME. One day at a time- one lb at a time - a million emotions at a time......
And I'll be back - I committed to every Wednesday for the next 5 months!
It is absolutely wonderful and so amazing to wacth and feel this large miracle take place. I love your attitude, this is going to be fun. Papa.
ReplyDeleteIs it ridiculous that I am tearing up reading this? So honest, love it! -ash
ReplyDeletewell, i can't BE there yet, but this makes is helpin me be part of it. Tks. G~
ReplyDeleteI am totaly with you on this statment "THEN I realized I was not just watching these pregnant women - I was one of "them" SHIT!!!!!! " girl your crack me up!!
ReplyDeleteOMG when I look at myself in the mirror and just put that "mommy hand on my belly" and just breath in and out and I'm like oh shit I am going to be someone's mom I am going to be a "mommy"
and when I feel him move it all hits me even more surreal trying to hold back the tears hormones get all crazy and I get wishy washy I just laugh as i tear up because hell yeah I am going to be an awesome mommy and I my heart and soul just fills up with emotions of joy
but like you said
"It sounds silly to think but pregnant is not ME but it is so ME. One day at a time- one lb at a time - a million emotions at a time......"
I am with you on this one sista! taking it one day at a time
thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings
it so hits home