Saturday, July 16, 2011

What's in my food log?


I've kept a food log almost everyday since I was in high school. At one time it was part of my obsessive compulsive eating disorder. When I was anorexic, I logged only the number of fat grams I had eaten each day (limiting myself to 10) Later it became a mark of how many times in a day I purged (up to 5 times a day). At some point I stopped logging the purges and "bad days" and the log became a record of the good days in which I didn't purge at all (some months there were only 2 of these days). College and post college the logs transitioned into workout and food logs to make sure my calories IN were LESS than the calories OUT via long, masochistic exercise sessions.

It makes me tear up to even think about those logs - those days of torment and being controlled rather than in control. With every move, I've packed those logs in a trunk and lugged them with me. Today could pull them out and show you the path I've traveled with food.

Recently several people have asked, what does your food log look like? what do you eat? may I have a copy of your food log? etc.
I sat down to give 3 example days of "what's in my food log" - but it won't tell the whole story.
The truth is that it's taken over 4 yrs to get the body I have today, to transition to the food you'll see in my food log, to have the peace of mind to eat Amy's Ice Cream and NOT get up to "run it off" in the morning. And MY food log should not be YOUR food log.

The truth today:
  • I don't really cheat - it's not worth it to me anymore and I don't miss anything!
  • I eat 99% paleo, gluten free, dairy free
  • I don't overeat because it reminds me of my days trapped in a Bulimic prison
  • I eat for performance and log everything - even on vacations
  • I still enjoy wine, Mexican Martini's, sweets on occasion
  • I know my Zone blocks but don't zone each meal just end of the day totals

Today I still log my workouts and my food EVERYDAY. I do it to track performance, to remember PR's, to know how I feel when I fuel my body in certain ways. I write down hunger/energy/body aches/rita's I have at happy hour - ALL OF IT. My food log is my peace of mind - Write it down and it's one less thing taking up space in my head!

11 comments:

  1. Thanx for sharing this Lisa. I needed to hear this today.

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  3. Lisa - After going through this same disease myself, I would fight to the end for any one else that is going through it. You being open about your past struggles with Anorexia/Bulemia has empowered me more than you know to fight for myself when it still peaks its ugly head from time to time. Its friends/people like you that help defeat those fears and feeling that flood back. Thank you.
    love,
    em

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  4. You know, you are an inspiration! :)

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  5. Thank you so much for sharing this. I used to feel trapped by my food journal--it was just another place to see how much of a disappointment I was and how weak/out of control I was.

    I don't keep one anymore (after going paleo I just don't feel the need), but I do sometimes write down how I feel about the food I'm eating...to remind myself that food is fuel and the better I fuel myself, the better I feel.

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  6. Allie - Totally get how the food log could be the spiral into bad habits again. For me it's the opposite but I always tread lightly when suggesting keeping one for former/current E.D. folks! Thanks for your comment.

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  7. Great post!!! Your 6 bullet points could not be more right on the money. Thanks for sharing with the world. Xoxo!

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  8. Excellent post, and thank you for sharing your experience with ED's. I'm sure it hits home to many.

    Shan

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  9. Pick the right ingredients when cooking the recipe.

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  10. Thank you for this post! As someone who has also had ups & downs with EDs, it's easy to feel alone with the experience, and for me perhaps feeling more guilty because I am so into health & fitness, that I should "know better." Similar to what you said, my answer always seems to be focusing on nutrition for performance.. with a bit of fun foods tossed in.. sans guilt :-)

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  11. Total inspiration Lisa! Can relate to you on every front! As I strive to everyday be as healthy as i can be-and stomp out ed once and for all-it is people like you that reassure me there's a light at the end of the tunnel and to keep my eyes forward. I feel like I am a sister in spirit and want you to know how proud of you I am in what you've truly accomplished thus far--keep on keeping on!!

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